


The Dubious Welcome

by LadyMerlin



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Aliens Do It Weird, Brief Mentions of Injury/Death/Violence, Comic Book Science, Dubious Consent, Dubious Consentacles, FrostIron - Freeform, Interdimensional shenanigans, M/M, Other, Tentacle Monsters, Tentacle Sex, Tentacles, Tony Stark Hates Magic, made up backstories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 14:20:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1269670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMerlin/pseuds/LadyMerlin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is <i>always</i> up for new experiences in bed, but he really fucking hates magic. He's pretty sure no one's going to believe this when he gets home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Dubious Welcome

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written for the [Dubious Consentacles Throwdown](http://marvelthrowdown.tumblr.com/post/77615574667/all-the-fics-are-up) on tumblr, a challenge intended to popularize and canonize the 'Dubious Consentacles' tag on AO3 (so it was for a good cause!) All the fics written for the challenge can be found at the link above, and if I'm not mistaken the challenge has new rounds every now and then! It was great fun, so don't hesitate to go sign up for it, sometime!

They slammed into the ground with a deafening crash, impact throwing up immense clouds of dust into the air. It felt like his brain had detached from his spinal cord from how hard he’d hit the ground, without the suit to even cushion the fall. His vision swam. Fan-fucking- _tastic_. Just what he needed; a potential concussion.

He tried to sit up and only barely managed to stifle a whimper. Everything hurt. Beside him, Loki was on the ground, unconscious. Perfect. Just _perfect._ “Jarvis?” he croaked, and managed not to cough. Coughing, he was sure, would be bad. His ribs weren’t in the right place to be coughing. There was no response. His watch, still strapped around his wrist, was shattered. He could feel tiny fragments of glass on the ground, even if he couldn’t see them. Loki stirred. Apart from the fact that his eyes weren’t open, he looked remarkably well, with hardly a scratch on him. Tony was pretty sure he could taste blood in his mouth.

“Loki,” he tried instead, flapping one hand out feebly in his direction. Tony had hardly brushed Loki’s side, but he sat up with a snarl on his lips and murder in his eyes. It took him a few seconds, but he apparently registered that he was in no immediate danger, and turned to Tony. As much as it hurt his ego, “a little help here?”

Loki smirked, but turned towards him, still on the ground. He murmured some words under his breath, deliberately, the bastard, because he knew Tony was trying to study magical linguistics. The effect was immediate. The pain levels dropped rapidly, and quickly vanished. Tony sat up, gingerly. He stretched a little, reaching for his toes. There was no pain. “Thanks,” he said, because it was that, or ‘ _Amazing!’_ , and contrary to popular belief, Tony did have _some_ remaining self-respect. A non-zero percentage of dignity. Had Loki’s voodoo cured his concussion or was that just his brain being normal?

Loki waved it off, and took a look around the chamber instead. Tony followed suit. Dust was still settling, and though it was dim, there was definitely a light source _some_ where. The room was empty, but there were eight high doorways evenly spaced along the circular wall. It felt dishearteningly unsecure, like something was going to jump out from behind them, no matter which way they faced. And it wasn’t like Loki was exactly reliable himself; Tony had no idea what Thor had done to get Loki to cooperate on this one. Even then, he was planning on pressing his back against Loki’s, just so they could keep a proper watch on the huge doors.

Loki was studying him, amused. He had a perfect poker face, and Tony knew Loki just wanted him to know how very amusing he was. Bastard. “Calm down, Stark. I know exactly where we are.”

Tony perked up, despite himself. He wasn’t a coward or anything, but he was worryingly human in a very superhuman world. He didn’t even have his suit, and there was courage, and then there was stupidity. Tony was many things, but he wasn’t stupid. “Go on, then. Where are we?” he asked, when Loki made no motion to continue.

Loki sighed deeply and toed off one of his boots. Tony stared at him and he wriggled his sock-covered toes in response. “Many, many years ago, Amora was kidnapped by a being named Immortus. He was a skilled warper of reality and she turned out to be a very willing student. It was complicated, and quite disgusting. Immortus had a habit of treating uninvited guests to gory and unpleasant ends, involving large, hungry animals. This annoyed Amora, because the beasts kept eating her friends and informants.” Tony snorted, because yeah, that sounded like Amora. Loki had by then removed his other boot, his helmet and his upper armour. Tony didn’t ask.

A soft rustling noise was coming from one of the doorways, and Tony jumped when he noticed it. “What the hell was that?” he demanded, because a now-shirtless Loki looked completely unconcerned. He didn’t even let himself get distracted by how very nicely muscled Loki’s chest was – he was proud of that.

“I’d recommend you start taking off your clothes, Stark. Just a suggestion, if you want them to survive the next hour, or so.”

Tony was not proud of how high his voice went, when he asked, “why?” He was unaccustomed to being this far out of his depth. He didn’t like it. At _all_.

Loki rolled his eyes again and Tony hoped an eyeball fell out. “I’m in the process of explaining, how do you expect me to be able to tell you when you keep interrupting?” he asked, not a bit snippily. “Take off your clothes, Stark.”

“Alright, alright,” he said, and complied, because there were three ways this could play out, and the _best_ possible scenario was the one in which Loki was dead serious. In which case, he had no choice but to trust the guy. “If you’d wanted to see me naked, you could just have asked,” he muttered, because he was Tony Stark, and he resorted to witticisms when stressed.

Loki eyed him with interest. “Would you have complied?” he sounded genuinely curious. He dropped his black silk boxers, and Tony gaped. He didn’t want to, but he did. He wasn’t proud of that either. Loki looked impossibly smug. The bastard. “Do you need a hand with that?” he said, raising his voice so he could be heard over the increasingly loud, wet, rustling noise that was still coming towards them, from somewhere. Possibly from everywhere.

“No,” he snapped, and yanked off his own shirt. “Just tell me what the fuck is going on.”

“Amora didn’t like her friends dying inconveniently, so she suggested a change of security system. Immortus wanted to keep people in one place until he could deal with them personally. Amora didn’t want anyone to be eaten. Long story short, Immortus responded by creating a hentai-style tentacle monster capable of dealing with entire armies of intruders.”

At some point, Tony’s jaw had dropped and he hadn’t picked it up by the time Loki steamrollered through his explanation. Loki took his gaping mouth as a request for more information. “They were the laughing stock of the universe until everyone realised that no one was actually able to get past the damn thing. Apparently, when people are having orgasms, they’re too distracted to think of escape plans. There’s only one way to get into the fortress, and the monster is always waiting. Immortus has one of the most _impenetrable_ strongholds in this universe.”

There was a moment of silence and Tony stood there with one thumb in the elastic waistband of his boxers. Loki opened his mouth but Tony raised one finger, scarily reminiscent of Pepper at her worst and said, “Don’t.” Loki smirked and didn’t.

“So, what,” he started, and jerked off his own pants, “this thing comes in and _rapes_ us?” he spat the word, because, well. He’d been there, done that for a lot of stuff, but not for this. He’d been lucky because the choice had never been taken from him, before. He ignored the way Loki’s gaze lingered on his dick, because it wasn’t like this whole disaster wasn’t bad enough. Loki obviously seemed to notice his discomfort, and his eyes softened. He stepped towards Tony, who resolutely didn’t flinch. He very deliberately took off his watch and put it on the small heap of his clothes, which Loki then deposited in an alcove on the side of the room. He loved that thing. He was going to fix it, when they got home.

“Listen, Stark. I’ve been here before. It’s not that bad. It doesn’t hurt you. That’s not the point. Amora insisted that her informants come out unharmed, so the monster was designed to be harmless. And I know you don’t want this, but if I could have got us out, I would have done so by now. That is beyond even me. The best way to handle this is to go with the flow, and enjoy it.”

Loki had pressed one hand against Tony’s bare shoulder, and that one point of contact was… somewhat comforting. “The more you struggle, the worse it is. It assumes you’re a violent intruder. It will keep you there with greater force. If you give in to it, it won’t consider you a threat.” He was clearly trying to be helpful, but it wasn’t exactly working. The susurration was almost deafening by then.

“And how many of your mortal friends can actually claim to have enjoyed real life tentacle sex? Don’t argue with me Stark, I’ve been on the internet,” Loki said imperiously, leaning in close to Tony, his touch was still steady. It was almost funny. Tony smiled in return, even though his skin was crawling in trepidation. It was odd; he’d always thought he was one of the most sexually liberated people on Earth. There really wasn’t much he hadn’t seen, or done, or enjoyed at some point or other. And he’d taken pride in being experienced. It was a good thing. But the fact that he had no choice-

Loki sighed deeply, as the echoing noises sharpened as the creature _spilled_ into the chamber, from all eight entrances, simultaneously. “I’d hoped to save this for another occasion,” he said but that made no sense, and suddenly Loki was kissing him, holding Tony’s body close to his own, pressing them as close together as they possibly get. Loki kissed deeply, intently, taking his time to taste Tony as if they had all the time in the world. He moaned into it, lips parting almost despite himself; welcoming Loki in. Loki’s hot, greedy hands on his back were so brilliantly shocking that Tony didn’t notice the burbling, writhing mass of tentacles until they touched his feet, and then it was too late.

He yelped, breaking the kiss ungracefully and startling badly, but by then he was knee deep in the slippery black mass, and he couldn’t feel the cold stone under his feet anymore. The tentacles were slippery and wet, slightly warmer than room temperature, and the whole business felt very much like stepping into a pool full of mucous, or some sort of highly viscous liquid. It was a surprise that they were in solid form, because they seemed to be almost shapeless and liquid; sinuous and twining and filling up any space that wasn’t otherwise occupied. He couldn’t tell where one began and where the other ended. Loki tangled the fingers of one hand with Tony’s, and it was shockingly sweet even as it was ridiculously out of character for the both of them. Tony could appreciate romance, but he was never quite sure why anyone bothered, with him.

Despite the soft, gelatinous _tentacled_ cushioning beneath them, it was almost nice to have Loki’s steady touch.

“What,” he asked, lying down because he had no physical way of sustaining his weight to stay upright, “was that?” The tentacles supported him surprisingly well when he was flat on his back, like a backstroke in the Dead Sea. It felt very much like lying a wet, warm, slightly clingy, grope-y living mattress.

 _In Soviet Russia, pool swim_ – No, that didn’t work.

It had apparently been a stupid question; Loki shot him a flat look. “I was not mistaken,” he said voice suddenly frosty even as he was toppled onto Tony’s prone body by a co-ordinated heave of the mass, awkward and ungraceful for the first time Tony had ever seen.

“About what?” Tony demanded, because no, he’d checked and nothing was making sense yet.

“You reciprocate my interest, Stark. Don’t even try to deny it. I am not a fool to be deceived by your lies.” Loki flattened his palms on the squidgy surface on either side of Tony’s chest and propped himself up on his hands and knees, suspended over Tony’s body. It was, without question, one of the most _blindingly_ erotic things Tony had ever seen in his life. It took sincere effort to be able to listen to what Loki was saying, even though the wet tentacle noise had been significantly dampened in the larger room.

His body was entirely clean lines of muscle taut over bone. He was the physical incarnation of efficiency – there was nothing in excess. No extra fat, no excessive muscle, no saggy skin. He was impossibly long, and Tony was having visions of Loki’s legs wrapped around his back. His penis, magnificent as it was, hung downwards, its tip just brushing Tony’s thigh. He shivered.

Loki’s gaze sharpened. He opened his mouth to point out something brilliant, no doubt, but Tony spoke before he could. “I’m not denying that I’m attracted to you, Loki. A blind man could see that I want you. But seriously, this is the worst possible time to be exploring it!”

Loki looked at him, and honestly, it felt like Loki was looking straight through him, like every thought in his head was easily readable. Suddenly he grinned. “Stark, if there ever was a time to provide someone physical comfort, it is now. You are unnecessarily complicating things. You are attracted to me, I am not averse to the idea,” Tony snorted because _yeah_ , he’d seen the way Loki’d looked at his ass, he wasn’t blind, “and this whole business is inevitable. Like I said, it’s best to just go along with it and have fun.”

Tony considered. No, he seriously did. He considered it as well as he could, with his maddening proximity to Loki’s naked body and his piercing gaze looking deep into Tony and the fucking mass of tentacles underneath them. He nodded once. “Alright, then,” he said, and then smiled at Loki’s answering grin.

A deafening bell tolled twice, somewhere above them. Tony tried to cover his ears but it was over before he could react. Loki squeezed his eyes shut instinctively, against the noise, still on his hands and knees, and rested his forehead against Tony’s sternum. “Means we’ve got twenty minutes before someone turns up,” he explained to Tony’s stomach. Hesitantly, Tony trailed his fingers over Loki’s head, down the length of his soft black hair, and along the nape of his neck, gently. He could feel the bumps of Loki’s spine under his fingertips and it was _incendiary_ , he wanted push Loki around a little and _taste_ the curve of his spine. Still, the contact must have been fairly unpleasant, because Tony’s hands were covered in the tentacle sli – he was just going to call it lube – covered in _lube_ and he was getting it all over Loki’s clean, dry skin.

But when he looked up, the heat in his eyes told Tony that he hardly cared about the mess. Loki stretched up, and the way he moved was a minor _miracle_ , and kissed Tony, taking his time about it. Tony went with it. Contrary to how he’d been behaving then, he was actually quite good at sex. He was more than experienced, and it was one of his favourite activities in the world. There was nothing better than making people beg and whine, and watching them fall to pieces under his hands. It always made him feel ten feet tall.

He kissed back actively, this time, and Loki deepened the press of his tongue. Tony let his head sink back against the slimy mass, reluctantly. He figured that if he was going to expose his most intimate body parts to alien slime, his hair hardly mattered in the whole scheme of things.

Tony had his hands on Loki’s back, exploring the heat of his body and the feel of his ribcage under taut skin, the dimples on the small of his back, which was why he felt it when Loki’s breath hitched. Tony blinked open his eyes and Loki moved a little, exhaling more sharply with his eyes still squeezed shut. He was enraptured by the look on Loki’s face, but stopped when he felt it – a slender, snaking thing, between them. A tentacle, he reminded himself. Like in the old porno mags he and Rhodey had laughed at, in MIT.

He looked down and watched, more than a little stunned at the sight of it coiling around Loki’s dick. It pumped once, twice, dexterous and confident; experienced. It left glistening trails where it touched skin, but more importantly, Loki was hard, or at least, getting there quickly. He couldn’t have stopped touching Loki if he’d wanted to, so he kept stroking Loki’s skin, running his hands up and down his sides and down his back, daring to hold on to handfuls of perfect ass, and squeeze. Loki grinned down at him, wickedly. Tony found that this time, when he grinned back, he actually meant it.

And then a tentacle was touching him too, and the way it coiled around his cock was… it felt like a mouth, more than a hand, and it was _glorious_. Like a marvellously skilled blowjob, like nothing he’d ever expected. He sighed deeply, in contentment. He could deal with fantastic blowjobs, no problem. He imagined Loki in front of him, on his knees, with his _wicked_ mouth around Tony’s cock. Another tentacle snaked up to his chest, thinner than the one wrapped around him, and tweaked at a nipple. He made an embarrassing noise, and it did it again, surprisingly dexterous. Tony moaned and Loki seemed to respond in kind.

They were both breathing faster, hearts pounding furiously. The slick, rhythmic noises were increasing in frequency, and the sound of skin-on-skin was uncanny. Loki’s pulse fluttered in the hollow of his neck, and Tony wanted to lick it. But he couldn’t reach. Loki looked utterly distracted. Something was going on, and he couldn’t see what. He twisted and turned a little, and the limb wrapped around his cock squeezed just a little tighter. Tony felt the familiar heat pooling in his belly, but pushed it down. From his new position, he could see Loki’s lovely ass, and– and–

There was a tentacle, buried deep inside Loki, and Loki was arching in pleasure from it, presenting himself upwards, visibly trembling as it fucked him. It was like Tony’s entire world had narrowed to that one point of focus, and he wanted to _feel_ it. With all the strength he had left, he pulled Loki’s body down, and he collapsed onto Tony, inelegant and limp. He could feel Loki trembling on top of him.

Their erections pressed between their bodies, hot, and hard, and the tentacles that had been laving them with attention took no notice of their sudden proximity. They simply squeezed through the tiny space left, and carried on pumping. Tony wondered, with a shiver, what it would take for them to stop. Whether they would stop, even after, or whether they’d just be forced towards another orgasm, weak, and oversensitive.

He shivered at the thought, because he wouldn’t even have been averse to it, with Loki’s heavy weight on his, and them wet, and hot, and breathing hard in all the right ways. He wouldn’t have objected to that at all. He felt something between his legs then, and deliberately didn’t tense up. He focused on Loki, who was making the most delicious noises, propped up on his elbows, head thrown back. The tentacle pushed into him, slow, but firm. The pressure around his cock did not ease.

Loki gasped, eyes still squeezed shut, and came, lips parted as if he couldn’t get enough breath. He looked absolutely stunning, and Tony knew an orgasm face when he saw it. So despite the slowly moving limb inside him, he reached up and _licked_ Loki’s open mouth, as filthy as he could manage. He was covered in warm slick, and he shouldn’t have been able to feel it, but he definitely felt Loki’s come, hot on his chest, before Loki collapsed onto him again, breathing like he’d run a marathon.

The tentacle inside him started moving in earnest, like it had been waiting for him to be done with Loki. Considerate, that. It felt pleasant enough, at first, if a little soft, but when Loki was down for the count, it seemed to solidify inside Tony. It was an absolutely bizarre sensation.

And it clearly knew what it was doing, from the way it moved. He really didn’t have much space to move, himself, with the tentacle bed underneath him and Loki on top of him. But he could feel it moving deep inside him, deeper than it had any right being. The heat in his belly that had subsided earlier came back with a vengeance, and white was sparking behind his eyelids when the tentacle touched him exactly where he wanted to be touched, both inside and out.

Then Loki started licking his nipples, one at a time, nibbling with teeth carefully covered by lips. Somehow his hands had slipped under Tony’s body and he was taking his revenge by shamelessly groping at his ass. It was too much, all at once. Too much sensation that he was not in control of. It was relentless, tentacles on his cock and inside him, wet and hot and rhythmic, Loki’s lips and teeth and hands, sending bolts of pleasure down to his groin.

There was only a moment or three of the perfect buildup, before he fell over the crest, blinding starbursts of pleasure searing across his vision, every vein tingling as he came down from the high. The tentacle in his ass was fucking him through it, slow and steady, but the one on his cock had stopped. He exhaled deeply, limbs shaking from the orgasm, and found Loki watching him quietly, looking pleased. He was still draped over Tony’s body, his chin resting on his interlocked fingers, propped against Tony’s chest. They laid there for a minute, breathing hard and recovering.

“Hello, Stark,” he remarked pleasantly, as if they’d just bumped into each other unexpectedly in a coffee shop, instead of having been efficiently brought off by an alien tentacle monster in space. Loki’s dick was pressed between them, and Tony wanted to touch it. Honestly, what even was his life. He could still feel Loki’s heart racing, to match his own. The idea filled him with pride.

“You can probably call me Tony, now,” Tony replied, and Loki beamed at him. It wasn’t even unnerving – it looked startlingly honest. Tony grinned back. No one was ever going to believe him, back home. He kissed Loki, because he figured he was allowed, now. The tentacle inside him pulled away, leaving a sticky, unpleasant mess. They were just a sticky, unpleasant mess all together. Tony dragged a finger down the mess on Loki’s back and enjoyed the way he shivered into the press of their lips.

“And you,” came a third voice, interrupting the kiss and making them both jump, “can mark me down as horny, because that was _fantastic_.” The voice belonged to a blonde woman, who had entered from one of the doorways without catching either of their attention. She was wearing armour that looked a lot like Thor’s, and an expression that didn’t belay any surprise at having found two naked men and a tentacle monster in her basement.

Loki rolled his eyes, but didn’t look concerned. “Amora. You always did have a horrible sense of timing.” He stood up, feet finding solid ground through the quickly receding mass of tentacles. He pulled Tony up with one hand and negligible effort, and thankfully didn’t let go of his hand until Tony had found his feet. He wished his watch was working, because he wanted to know exactly how long it had been. It had felt like _hours_ , and he was exhausted, barely standing on shaky knees, but Loki had said they’d been there for at most twenty minutes. It hardly made sense, the way he just wanted to collapse onto a semi-soft surface with Loki in his arms, and sleep.

“Oh Lokes, darling, it’s been such a long time,” she said, and pouted comically, clearly ignoring Tony’s exhaustion. “And your pretty human too, I can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me!” she sounded genuinely upset, tossing her long, golden hair in all direction. She looked like a supermodel. She reached out towards Tony, but Loki slapped her hand away before she could touch him. It didn’t look gentle. She didn’t look offended at all. Instead she smirked, and it was less unnerving than the previous pouting.

“Tony,” Loki turned to him, “this is Amora. She’s the mistress of the fortress, and she foolishly has a ‘thing’ for my brother.” Despite himself, Tony’s face scrunched up in a moue of disgust. Tony knew Thor was quite literally built like a god, but honestly. He was like the innocent foreign exchange student. Having sex with him would be like having sex with the family pet, or something. There was nothing sexually appealing about him, especially not when compared to Loki’s whip thin flexibility. Loki huffed out a laugh, clearly having read his opinion on his face.

“Have you enjoyed my hospitality, Anthony Stark?” she asked, ignoring their exchange with ease of practice.

He pretended to consider. “Well, I could do with a hot bath. And some waffles,” because he was really good at integrating himself into unknown situations and unfamiliar environments. It was a skill.

She laughed out loud and started walking away, but Loki looked at him and smirked. “And you,” Tony said, under his breath, turning to the man beside him, “are welcome to join me.”


End file.
